


Only Hate The Road When You're Missing Home

by bigsweatersandcuddleweather



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi, OT3, Protective Harry, Protective Louis, Younger Zayn, Zourry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 09:20:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2576276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigsweatersandcuddleweather/pseuds/bigsweatersandcuddleweather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“And you don’t always have to try and do things on your own. We like to help you, love it actually. We love knowing that we’re needed. It’s not just me and Louis plus you as our bonus. I can see it in your face sometimes, don’t look so surprised love. I can see it on your face. We’re not going to get rid of you. You’re not a plaything. You’re our little love. Our boyfriend. It’s not Harry and Louis plus Zayn. It’s Harry and Louis and Zayn.” Harry said gently, caressing the tousled inky locks as those big dewy doe eyes turned to him, widening in surprise the further he spoke, mouth set in an instinctive pout as he blushed and tried to turn away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Hate The Road When You're Missing Home

It was early enough that the room was still shrouded in darkness, an eerie silence that was punctuated by the sounds of heavy breathing and stifled snores from the swaddled masses huddled close together on the larger than life bed. Zayn sat up wearily, attempting to rub the sleep from his fatigued eyes as he glanced at his alarm, glaring at the too bright lights that forced him from the warmth of his lovers arms, out to the cold kitchen to feed himself, or an attempt to do so since he had no positive experiences with that, and then come back and hope to get a few hours of rest before he was forced back up to face the long day that awaited him.

Heaving a sigh he looked at the bodies that surrounded him on either side, deciding that it was better if he didn’t accidentally jostle one of them and have to endure their coddling and force feedings when he just wanted a fag.

 

Carefully he managed to extricate himself from their midst, stumbling in too big sweats that dragged under his feet, too tired to hunt for a sweater against the chill of air conditioning that they insisted on keeping on full blast, despite Zayn’s thin blood that had a tendency to freeze so easily. It made a good excuse for either one of them to cuddle him under their arms or get a lap full of the younger boy, huddled close in one of their sweaters.

“And where do you think you’re going?” he nearly groaned under his breath, stopped in his tracks by the sleep roughed voice and arms that went around his waist until his back was nestled against a thick well sculpted chest that he recognized immediately.

“You know very well where I’m going Harry.” he huffed, crossing his arms and glaring down at his feet like a child in the beginning phases of his tantrum.

“Smartass. Where do you think you’re going alone? Didn’t we say that there should be atleast one of us with you whenever you wake up to eat? Do I need you remind you what happened the first time?” Harry murmured, urging him to walk, still pressed to his back, head resting it’s pointed chin on Zayn’s sleep tousled hair and Zayn swore it was to annoy him, emphasizing the height differences that he despised.

“It was an accident. I thought that if I turned on the toaster higher it would cook faster. How was I supposed to know that the smoke alarm would go off? And I was half asleep so that doesn’t count.” he grumbled, but he knew there was some truth in his statement, remembering the anxiety he felt and how he practically ran back to their room in a strop to wake any of them and nearly cried as the fire department came running into their house. His two boyfriends made him promise not to attempt that ever again unless one of them were supervising him. And they also knew that he was likely to break that role and try to assert some form of independence that he was so used to having but they needed to keep him safe.

“Well you’re half asleep even when you’re fully awake so that argument is invalid. And that’s exactly why I’m here. Now what do you want to eat love? I can whip a quick fry up if you’d like. Or maybe some waffles. We’ve also got some of those paratha things you love in the freezer.” the foreign word rolling off his unadapted tongue in a way that was so awkward and so endearing to Zayn’s ears that he couldn’t help going limp in Harry’s arms, squirming until he could wrap his arms around the sun tanned  broad shoulders and cling to him as those larger than normal hands caressed his bare back, raising goosebumps that had Zayn’ pressing his lips together to suppress shivers.

“Are you tired? Let’s get you fed and back to bed. We’ve got a full day but I’m sure you can rest in between. And anytime you need a break to go outside or to rest or because you’re starting to get thirsty, got it babe?” Harry murmured, keeping an arm reassuingly touching his younger boyfriend as he maneuvered around the kitchen, pulling out slices of bread and heating up tea from the night before, ushering Zayn onto the counter.

“I can feed myself Haz.” Zayn wined softly, but obligingly let Harry shove little bites of the peanut butter and jam sandwich through his lips, chewing as he wilted under the absolute look of adoration that Harry practically bathed him in. He was used to Harry looking at Louis like that, with that grin that seemed to come through his eyes and the dimpled grin that showed no teeth but a level of cute that was fondness radiating off of him. But whenever those eyes turned on him he was shy, awkward with fumbling hands and eyes that automatically strayed down. It was like that with any of the boys.

“Nearly a year of us being together and you still get shy? What would the fans say about itty bitty Zaynie blushing as soon as one of his boyfriends smiled at him? Hmm?” Harry teased, leaning forward so that his nose skimmed the tan one, feeling the rush of heat that filled the pale cheeks that were slowly sinking at the disappearance of baby fat, and laughed, reaching to pull Zayn into a hug, slim legs wrapping around his waist and arms clinging to him desperately as he twirled them both around the kitchen floor, the tiled floor bathed in the refrigerator light.

“They wouldn’t care. I’m the bad boy, remember? And as far as they ‘know’ only you two are together.” his words thick with muffled laughter as he clung to his older boyfriend desperately. Harry shook his head, slowing down but never putting Zayn down as he made him another sandwich and sat at the table until he finished it all, encouraging him with gentle hands that caressed his softly defined cheeks and kisses on knuckles that were coated with paints and inks that seemed to be an ever present feature on Zayn’s tender tan skin, something they had grown accustomed to and associated with Zayn. Their Zayn. Louis and Harry’s Zayn.

“There. All finished. Now can we go back to bed please?” Zayn whined, burrowing himself further into the folds of Harry’s sweater, wiggling his way under until the thick material covered him as well and he was pressed tight to Harry’s bare chest in the confines of the fabric. He pressed his head into the curve of the strong tendons that covered his neck and shoulder, a smell that was pure Harry, a mixture of boy sweat, cologne and something that he couldn’t quite place, some type of laundry detergent that lingered on the side of feminine but it suited Harry.

“Oi, greedy.” but Harry said it in a voice oozing fond as he rested his hands on the small bum, easily lifting Zayn up and to the bathroom.

“Go on, wash your teeth and do what you need to do love. I’ll go lay out your prayer rug and then I’ll be waiting in bed, keeping your place warm.” Harry teased, maneuvering them both around until he could slip his arms out of the sweater and pull it until Zayn’s shaggy head peeked out, the sweater sagging where it fit Harry perfectly, neck stretched, sleeves hanging past delicate fingertips and draping past his tiny waist in folds of fabric. It was a sight that stole his breath literally out of his chest, but made him want to coo and simply hold onto their smaller boy forever, hoping he would stay that bright eyed and adoring even in the face of the industry that lived in. He would make sure that Zayn was shielded from the worst. They all would.

“Fine. Now goo.” Zayn huffed, pushing at Harry’s waist to nudge the taller boy away and out, wanting to hurry up so that he could go back to the bed where there were warm bodies that he could burrow into and under until his limbs were warm again.

Zayn made it known from day one that he needed quiet, as soon as he stood at that colored rug, feet shoulder width apart, topi hat pressing his hair down to his scalp and a serious expression on his face, needing to focus on the words that were silently mouthed as he focused on one point that seemed invisible to the rest of the lads. And they didn’t mind, finding it fascinating to watch as he seemed to be in a trancelike state, thumbs pressed to the curve behind his ear as he said the words Allahu Akbar, before small hands traveled to cup right at under his nearly nonexistent stomach, eyes half lidded as he stayed in that position, going down to his knees to press his forehead to the floor, once, twice, and then sitting there, hands on his knees, still as concentrated and fluid in those still moments. And they knew it was safe to speak again when he head moved, first to face his right shoulder, then his left, signalling that they could talk, just not to him. Not until his hands cupped in front of his face and his head faced the sky, thanking, saying things that they didn’t understand, and probably never could because this was between him and God. And they understood that, never interfering, simply watching.

And this time was no different as Harry stood silently creeping on his younger boyfriend as he faced the corner, Qibla he called it, going through the process that they all seemed to memorize silently, before folding the prayer mat and turning to see Harry standing there with an outstretched hand.

“You didn’t have to wait up for me Hazza.” Zayn mumbled, slipping under his arm and wrapping his arms around the thickly muscled stomach as Harry walked beside him back to the comforts of their bedroom.

“I know I didn’t have to, I did it because I wanted to. That’s all.” with a simple nod that Zayn accepted, only because he was too eager to crawl under the covers, burrowing his way back up the bed and to his spot between Harry and Louis, sighing at the hands that automatically grabbed him into their midst. Louis wasn’t a light or a heavy sleeper, but he subconsciously always knew when they were there and gone.

“Night baby.” Harry mumbled, already half asleep, hand coming over to stroke over the top of Zayn’s head.

“Night Hazza.” he reached for the hand, pressing an affectionate kiss to the soft and calloused palm, keeping their fingers loosely knitted as he fell backwards into the silky unconscious of sleep that caressed him like silk hammock, smooth and familiar, like the lads.

~~~~~~~~

“Yes.”

“Louis!” Zayn whined pathetically, stomping his foot in an adamant portrayal of his frustration, and Louis could only the the trembling pout that threatened to turn into really waterworks, slowly but surely working himself into a full fit and he was trying it hard to be resolute in his heart.

“I’m sorry love but we have to go. I know you want to sleep but we have to meetings all day about photoshoot ideas for the album cover, perfume samplings, fittings with Caroline for Brit outfits.  A lot to do and not enough time for this, not this early atleast. Now get up.” trying to urge his boyfriend up from the couch he had collapsed into after belting out vocals for the new album.

“No.” it was full on petulance with squinting eyes, seeing how far he could push before he really pissed his oldest boyfriend off.

“Lou, what’s taking so long? Paul is getting antsy.” Niall’s head popped in, seeing Zayn’s glare and Louis’s impatient before quickly disappearing from sight.

“Good luck with him.” calling back as he made a fast escape, knowing that the meltdown would be terrible. It was between boyfriends and he didn’t want to be around for the makeup sex.

“Zayn love, what’s wrong? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you need a little break? Because all you need to do is ask.” Louis asked in a soothing tone as he squatted down on the heels of his vans, caressing the back of Zayn’s head as he pressed his face into the crease as the seat of the couch cushion met the back, refusing to meet Louis’s eyes. He didn’t know what was wrong. Things felt bad, had felt bad from the moment he had woken up again and now he couldn’t shake himself from the rut that it had dug in him, deep and narrow like a trench that was claustrophobic and constricting.

So he simply shook his head, wishing that he could just ask Louis to reach over some more and cover him with his body, needing some type of touch or comfort when his throat was parched and his head was ringing and his heart so hollow and confusedly uncertain of why.

“Alright, I don’t have time for charades.Time to go.” and Zayn knew what that meant, locking his joints as he felt the tell tale arms sliding under his arms and hefting him over his shoulder, despite his stiff position he seemed comfortable.

“Louis put me down.” Zayn huffed, although his reaction was the complete opposite, arms reaching out to loop around Louis’s collar and clench the collar of his sweater and nose nuzzling the beginning of scruff that itched him just the right away, leaving a path of beard burn that felt too right.

“Is this what you wanted love? Just wanted a bit of cuddle from your big protective boyfriend?” Louis wanted to laugh, he really did but the way Zayn’s shoulders seemed to diffuse as the contact stayed between their bodies.

“Yeah, but the Harry wasn’t here. So you’ll do.” the faintest of sass and sarcasm but mostly a sense of relief as he found something to hold onto. His mind felt slightly less cloudy when he was with one of them, any of them. It made fasting seem so much easier but he still craved the comforts of home, his mum, the silence of his bed instead of the frantic clicks and shouts of his names by men twice his age holding intimidating cameras right into his eyes. As if that will get them the inside scoop on the mystery lad that his bandmates tried to shield and preserve from the whole world.

“Cheeky little thing.” Louis laid a slap across his arse, rubbing it soothingly, teasing slightly as Zayn shifted, gripping around his neck even tighter and his breath shuddering slightly.

“What is it babe? Tell me what’s going on in that precious mind of yours.” Louis glanced at the rest of the boys who were lounging in the private room off the lobby, Paul going ahead to take care of some of the troubles and delays at the meeting and warning them to stay put. They looked amused but stayed in their places with their mouths shut as Louis shot them a warning look.

“Miss home.” it was mumbled, a sigh in the threads of the winds and Louis sat down, positioning Zayn to straddle his waist and bringing him back cradled into his arms.

“What was that darling? I couldn’t hear.”

“I miss home. And mum. And her cooking. And my sisters. And my dad. My whole big family.” picking at the loose threads on Louis’s collar and turning away from Louis’s fingers when he realized how embarrassingly young he sounded .But he couldn’t help it, Louis knew that. It was at times like today that he seemed so painfully young and unsure, looking at the rest of them for guidance and a hand to hold onto in the mess of fame that threatened to submerge them. The only difference was that they knew how to swim, and Zayn didn’t. He was only sixteen, leaving home and everything he had ever seen and known at the tender sweet age of fourteen for X-factor and then being immersed in the never ending cycle of go go go. No reprieve, nor breathing space, stripped bare and expected to be strong. But he was still so fucking young compared to the rest of them.

“I know. I know darling.” and he didn’t try to offer any words of comfort of sympathy, because it was implied in every caress and rock of his body as he held Zayn. They all knew the emptiness of nostalgia and distance from the past and a life that didn’t seem like their own anymore

“But we’re here. We’re not your family but we have arms that will hold you and cuddles whenever you’d like, and even when you don’t.” Louis promised gently yet with a firmness of tone and the kiss that seemed to seal the deal in Zayn’s mind as nodded, staying in his position in Louis’s arms until they were called.

And once Paul was calling them to go he had an arm pressed to the small dimples of his back, reassuring him in a way he didn’t know he needed.

 

The moment the day was done and they were brought home the two older boys insisted that Zayn go upstairs and take a nap, thinking that it might ease the furrow on his forehead.

“I’m not a child. Stop fucking treating me like one.” Zayn hissed, crossing his arms and trying to stay angry and it wasn’t hard for him at that moment.

“We’re not saying that you’re being a child. We’re just saying that maybe a nap will help pass the time. And the bags under your eyes make it seem like it would be a good idea as well love.” Harry attempted to be placatingly ut the young brunette took it as patronizing.

“Well thank you very much but I am more than capable of deciding on whether or not I need a rest.” Zayn turned to head into the kitchen reaching for a bottle of red bull, flipping the top and about to take a sip when he licked his dry lips and remembered the fast that held his tongue and mouth shut. The day that had been so packed just seemed to drag on, and he still had hours before he could eat and drink and hopefully grab a smoke.

“Zayn where’s your phone?” Harry called, striding into the kitchen, clad in only his boxers and suspicious red marks lining his neck and jaw.

“In my pocket. ‘s dead though. Why?” he asked, stashing the redbull safely into the fridge as arms went around his waist.

“Your mum called me. Said she was trying to talk to you all day but you never responded and she got worried.” he pressed the sleek phone into Zayn’s hand, lips trailing down the clear cut of his tan jaw, thumbing the jutting bones briefly before pulling away before Zayn wanted.

“Me and Lou are going to be upstairs talking while you reassure her that you are alright and not dead like she assumes.” he knew what kind of talk it would be, and normally he would feel a pang of uncertainty and loneliness at being shunned from their private moments but the chance to talk to his mum was more tempting than pouting at them until they felt guilty enough to go celibate for the month alongside him.

“Okay, have fun and keep it down.” he reminded, pressing the phone to his ear in time to hear his mum practically crooning his name, automatically smiling because if there was one thing that could make him smile it was her voice.

It was both a blast of home in his gut but a reminder that he wasn’t necessarily a part of that home anymore, hearing his sisters bustling in the background and his father’s boisterous laughter…feeling the hype of breaking a fast together, sitting together with platters of the spiciest foods and pitchers of drinks. He wondered if mum still made turns making each of their favorites, if she ever made the cauliflower parathas with mint yogurt dip that he used to love.

“Zayn? Are you still there?” he heard her call, voice a chokehold on his throat, squeezing the emotions that he had been trying to suppress all day.

“Yeah, ‘m fine.” he managed with only a thick curl of a crack on the n in fine. He heard her sigh, a moment of silence between them that said more than the emptiness of false joy in their words.

“Miss you sunshine. We all do. Your aba is always complaining about being surrounded by by a gaggle of girls and how he needs his son to visit him. And the girls have turned your room into a shrine, but Safaa always ends up falling asleep in your bed, sometimes with Waliyha. Jawaad has started hanging off of Ant and Danny and there’s just gaps love. We all miss you so much love. Ramadan is so different without your smile or your scowl. And I don’t ever want to make you feel bad because we’re so proud of you. So so proud and we all love you so much and we will see you for Eid.” a rant that ended with a sniffle that seemed to shatter any of the resolve he had and he wanted nothing more than to leave, to run until he got to bradford and to any semblance of normality that he once possessed.

“Yeah. Course. Wish I could be there. Really really badly.”

“You are eating alright, right? Harry and Louis taking proper care of you? It was nice of them to take you in. I didn’t like the thought of you living on your own and especially with being so young.”

“Yeah mum, they’re taking proper care of me.” if only she knew how well those two boys were ‘taking care’ of him. He didn’t linger on the phonecall for too long, not knowing how much more his heart could take, quickly calling off and heading toward the bedroom, hoping that they were done and willing to share a bit of comfort because he really needed it.

“Lou? Hazza?” he called, knuckles tapping on the door lightly before peeking in cautiously but only seeing a nicely made bed with the covers rucked messily, the shower running in the adjoining bathroom and soft voices. He didn’t want to walk in on them doing something that would make him envious so he simply kicked off his cumbersome shoes and crawled into the bed, plagued with fatigue that felt a mile deep in his bones and impossible to get rid of. He didn’t expect to fall asleep, let alone so easily that he didn’t even remember pulling the covers over his shoulders when he woke up later on, his limbs practically weighed down on the mattress with the weight of sleep and the setting sun streaming through his window.

“Hey sleepy head, finally awake?” turning his head and wondering exactly how out of it he really was when he saw Louis straddling his weight, making sure to the weight from crushing his younger boyfriend, Harry hanging over his shoulder with a smile that just seemed nurturing. Zayn just nodded, closing his eyes to enjoy the closeness that they provided him with.

“No no. Come on love. It’s so close to breaking your fast. Let’s get you up so you can pray and then maybe some food will make you feel better. Today is just not your day, is it little lovely?” Harry asked softly, kneeling beside the bed with an understanding that Zayn didn’t understand how they could posses. He felt like a child that was being demeaned but he wasnt. He was their boyfriend and they knew him so well to realize when he was on a ledge that they didn’t comprehend and they were just so willing to provide him with things even he didn’t know he needed or wanted or reassuring him about things he couldn’t comprehend he was feeling.

“Sorry.” he mumbled, feeling the tears he prayed would stay away brim unwillingly, he turned to look at Louis who was watching him in surprise, his mouth set in a o, hair damp and still mussed from the shower, before he moved and shook his head rapidly.

“No. No there’s nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay darling. We expect you to not be okay, we would be worried if you weren’t. It’s okay to miss your mum and be hungry and tired and argue. We’re not going to run away just because you do.”

“And you don’t always have to try and do things on your own. We like to help you, love it actually. We love knowing that we’re needed. It’s not just me and Louis plus you as our bonus. I can see it in your face sometimes, don’t look so surprised love. I can see it on your face. We’re not going to get rid of you. You’re not a plaything. You’re our little love. Our boyfriend. It’s not Harry and Louis plus Zayn. It’s Harry and Louis and Zayn.” Harry said gently, caressing the tousled inky locks as those big dewy doe eyes turned to him, widening in surprise the further he spoke, mouth set in an instinctive pout as he blushed and tried to turn away.

But Louis was caressing his head between his large palms, making sure he kept looking into the cerulean irises as Harry’s eyes, the color of bottled absinthe glinting in it’s bottle joined in his line of vision. Both of them were watching him with such seriousness he thought he would crumble under their stares.

"We may tend to treat you like a child sometimes and be a tad bit ridiculously overprotective but we worry for you and you know that we love you though, right?" Harry asked, his furrowed brow showing how genuinely worried he was wrong.

"It would be pretty hard not to love you with how good you treat me and take care of me and love me. Sometimes it’s a little shaky but I know you love me. Like I love you both." he murmured, reaching up to cup one of the hands Louis had pressed to his cheek, and grabbing onto Harry’s with the other, slowly sitting up so that he was sort of on even height with the others, pulling Harry onto the bed so that his knees pressed against Louis’s, and Zayn could clamber into a position that had him on both of their laps easily.

"That’s right." was all that Louis said as he tried to gather both of his boys in his arms, holding them together in more than physically. Zayn didn’t want to move, finding more peace in both of their holds than he had all day. And he would have gladly stayed like that all day is his stomach didn’t have an adjusted time schedule and wanted feeding immediately.

"Harry! What kind of boyfriend are you? You’re letting our little love starve here!" Louis screeched, pushing Zayn into Harry’s lap until they both fell over onto the mattress, before getting up and running out the room to check on Zayn’s food.

"Come on Harry, you wouldn’t want me to starve? Would you?" pulling out the big guns and pouting innocently, and any normal person would think that he really thought that Harry would but the older curly haired boyfriend just laughed, tossing the slender boy over his shoulder.

"Both of you are a pair of manipulators. I thought I had my hands full with Louis. I can tell you’re going to be a hell of a lot worse. My naughty little love."

"Our little love! Dont be greedy Harry!" Louis’s indignant shout came from across the threshold.

"Both of yours! And you can be as greedy as you like. I don’t mind." laughing as Harry set him down at the set table, surprised to see some of his favorites and knowing that they had talked to his mum and specifically made these for him. And it had any doubts about their intentions fly right over his head and away. 

With the way the both of them were watching his every move with waves of affection and utter devotion, like he normally saw them do to each other, he knew that he had a place amongst them. The three of them together.


End file.
